If you have ever wondered what it would be like to crash a fairground ride, upset the Russian mob, humiliate yourself before millions of people on national television, cause eleven thousand pounds damage to a restaurant in Blackpool as a result of your ineptitude with an industrial belt sander, be a bodyguard, make a movie with an A-list Hollywood actress, try to start a business in holographic confectionery, pole-dance, hang a lawnmower from a tree, receive a VIP tour of The Whitehouse, accidentally commit an armed robbery, be Santa Claus, learn to make weaponised plutonium, fall asleep on a push-bike, sell a pair of rusty skis, be sued over a fictional secret agent by an altogether terrifyingly-real firm of international lawyers, hang twenty four thousand chickens on a rack, be pursued by the paparazzi, attend a fancy dress party as a serial killer, co-host a radio talk show, buy a crane, flee your home in fear of a gangster ordering your legs by snapped like Twiglets, experience a surreal time-travelling incident, throw-up on stage while trying to host a game show, learn to fly, escape an assassination attempt or be normal… then you’re no longer alone. Welcome to Danland. Welcome to No stranger to the P45.
By Dan W.Griffin